Yucko the Clown called in to insult the crew and started with Robin's 'Joy Behar' appearance: "She sounds more stupid on that show than she did on 'Jeopardy.'" Yucko then turned to Gary, who returned fire with a reference to Yucko's recent divorce. Yucko tried to shrug it off ("At least I got more than Techno Beaver and Solitaire going on in my life.") but Gary stayed on the attack: "You wanna *not* be known? You're doing a great f’ing job!"

Gary really opened fire on Yucko: "You haven't been funny on the show in ages and you probably won't be on any time soon because you suck on the show!" Yucko's attempts to return fire kept missing the mark and Gary parried well: "You were vicious and funny and then you just became sad." Yucko started to sound defeated ("Whatever. I'm not f’king sad. I know that f’ing much.") so Gary went for the knockout: "Your act is stale. You haven't created anything new and you're kind of depressing...you're not a funny clown. You're a depressing clown." Yucko replied that he would go write some zingers to respond to Gary and call in with them tomorrow.

Gary speculated that Scott didn't respect him, but Scott clarified – he merely doesn't respect Gary's football opinions, just as he wouldn't respect his golf opinions: "I'm not arrogant. Just confident." As the argument heated up, it came out that Scott didn't even respect Jon Hein's take on TV. Jon replied diplomatically – saying he wasn't a 'TV authority,' but rather someone who conducts arguments in a way that some people respect and want to hear out.

Howard complained that Ralph had recently tried to reschedule their weekly meeting so he could interview James Cameron for ‘GEEKTIME!': "Now mind you, Ralph works for me for like an hour...a week...I go, 'Look dude, this is when I'm free. And quite frankly, I'll cancel 'GEEKTIME!'...I don't give a f’ about James Cameron.'" Gary laughed that when Ralph couldn't do the interview, he demanded that Jon Hein and Jason not do the interview without him.

Jason said Gary was telling the truth ("He's very possessive about 'GEEKTIME!'"), adding that Ralph once even forced him to cancel an interview with Peter Jackson because he wouldn't be there and didn't want his co-hosts conducting interviews on their own: "It was like a punch in the gut." Jon Hein tried to avoid commenting: "I'm out of this loop. This is Jason and Ralph...it's Ralph's show."

DIVA RALPH NEEDS ALONE TIME

Jason said Ralph was so controlling, he's even asked that Jason not Twitter about 'GEEKTIME!' without his permission: "He said to me at one point, 'It's not fair that you guys are at work all day together'...it's a nightmare." Jon Hein diplomatically confirmed Jason's account: "He's very passionate about the show." Gary reported that Ralph was such a diva, he demands to be given 15 minutes of 'alone time' before each show.

JON HEIN REFUSES TO GIVE HIS NUMBER TO RALPH

"It started out as sort of a joke but I've just never given it to him."

RALPH'S NEW YEARS FLUB

Emboldened by the staff's enthusiasm for Ralph-exposure (and prompted to do so by Richard), Howard decided to comment further on the now-infamous (and still yet unspecified) faux pas at his New Year's Eve party: "It's very simple. I didn't want a make a joke of it...I knew he was going to be alone so I invited him out to my house...sometimes Ralph can come out and be embarrassing." Howard said Ralph later claimed to have blacked out, but "I was serving the alcohol. He didn't drink anymore than I did."

Howard still refused to be specific, but explained: "He gets very physical. He starts saying very insulting things to several of the guests." Howard refused to be specific, as the things were very hurtful: "You know Rob [Zombie] and you know Jimmy [Kimmel]." Richard speculated that Ralph had disparaged Rob's films, so Howard nodded ("Ok...[but] Rob's a great guy and lets things roll off his back.") and concluded: "He's not coming to my house anymore. I'm done with the invites."

BUBBA THE LOVE SPONGE VS. TNA

Bubba the Love Sponge called in to explain that his beef with female TNA wrestler 'Awesome Kong' wasn't a 'work' – she really hit him off-camera: "It was everything for me to be on the ground...she really, really blasted me." Bubba said TNA had actually burned him twice, explaining that they'd given him a bunch of event tickets/passes to give to fans but then refused to honor them at the door.

Howard asked Bubba if his wife would be posting any more nearly nude photos of herself on Twitter. Bubba responded that he wasn’t sure if she would, but, as long as it was ok with Beth, he would be happy to email Howard some nude shots of Heather. Howard quickly declared that Beth approved.

JD came in to recap his date with Ashley Dupre, saying they met for hot chocolate at a place called Cafeteria: "She's a very nice girl. Very attractive and very nice." JD said he wore "khaki-type pants and a button shirt...I shaved. It was a big special occasion." Asked what he liked best about Ashley, JD said he loved it when she mouthed words without voicing them: "It's like she's saying something but she doesn't want to say it too loud...or whatever."

Howard wondered if JD planned to see her again, and JD nodded: "She said when she gets back from LA maybe we'll see a movie." The crew all speculated that JD was in love with her, but JD denied it: "I'm not in love with her. I'm smitten with her."

...AND HAS BLUE BALLS

JD told the crew that he went to Rick's Cabaret with some of the other staffers and had the lapdance of his life: "I did not come but my balls have not been so sore in my [entire] life." JD laughed that the stripper then showed off the fruits of her labor – his boner: "She's like pointing at it and Jason's right there!"